I might have to wax my knuckles

I have not evolved as much as I thought if changing my car's air filter myself makes me feel so male. I went to get my car's oil changed yesterday, where they can't content themselves with that. The oil change place doesn't make money from changing oil for $18.99.

It makes money from pulling out your air filter, showing you how filthy it is, telling how much fuel mileage it costs you, and offering to install a new one for $29.99*. I declined.

I've changed air filters before. Not on this car but it can't be that complicated. So I go to an auto parts store, buy one for $14.99, and install it myself. Had I remembered that it would feel so satisying, I would not have waited 94,000 miles to do it.

Now, to the gym, where much grunting will ensue, then home to eat a raw steak with my bare hands and watch the Bourne trilogy.

*It also makes money from adding a dubious "shop fee" that makes the $18.99 oil change cost $23.51.

Blu-Ray Blues

I like my Blu-Ray player, I really do. It has Wi-Fi, Netflix, Pandora, YouTube and produces fantastic 1080p HD images with more detailed resolution than my eyes can see. But one thing I miss about my old DVD player was that it knew its job. I put a disc in it and it said, "I'm gonna play a DVD." Now I put a Blu-Ray in and the player asks if I want to go on the Internet.

Jackson Guitar For Sale - $299

Beautiful guitar that sounds as great as it looks. I'm selling only because it suits styles that I don't play much. This Jackson gives you speed, sound and high performance in a model that plays smooth and easy. It features two high-output Jackson humbucking pickups, reverse headstock, jumbo frets, and licensed Floyd Rose double locking tremolo system.

Here is a tune I recorded when I first got the guitar:



I simply haven't played it since then. It's in mint condition and includes brand new strings.

The tremolo system combined with the way the fingerboard flattens out as you climb the neck makes it perfect for effortless warp-speed shredding and super-wide string bends. The high-output Jackson pickups give you a full, rich tone while providing maximum overdrive and sustain. They also clean up nicely when rolled back, which isn't always true of high-output pickups.

The price is firm. Email me at johnmcq@hotmail.com if you're interested.

John Strums Again

For more than a month the brace to hold my surgically-repaired arm in place impeded many activities, including normal guitar playing. When I improved to the point I could play at all, I still could strum only by waving my thumb across the strings.



In small doses, my arm could tolerate finger picking.



This week, the brace finally came off. Strumming still stresses my arm, but I can hold a pick and do it for short durations. As an added bonus for you, playing using a pick makes the guitar much louder than when strumming with the thumb. This helps drown out the vocals on this song still incomplete.



Photos by Melissa Matisko using Pancho's camera.

Dear Kitty

We will agree that it's OK for you to lick water out of the toilet, provided that we also agree that it's NOT OK for you to lick food off of my plate.

I realize that cats don't agree to things. They don't negotiate. So let's call this a declaration.

Yet Cans of Tuna Get Smaller

In case that's hard to read, it says that the average restaurant meal is four times larger now than it was in the 1950s. And, adults are, on average 26 pounds heavier.

You wanna supersize that?

Overheard Inside My Head

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me five or six times and I will start to catch on.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

RoboReporter

My stat counter tells me that someone found this blog by Google searching "sarasota abc 7 whats wrong with john mcquiston's right arm." So I should tell you what happened that led to me having to wear this contraption on the aforementioned appendage.

I was mauled by a bear while saving a small child from its clutches.

You're right: not really. But it's much more exciting than what really happened, which is a chronic injury to a biceps tendon that gave way one day and required surgery to fix.

But if anyone asks, do me a favor, will you? Tell them the bear story. I always wanted to be a hero.

Lido Key Sunset