I Am a Hurricane!

I am a hurricane!

And I am about to unleash some serious fury on a bunch sorry Mexicans. Check this out from the National Weather Service:

000
WTPZ31 KNHC 302336
TCPEP1
BULLETIN
HURRICANE JOHN INTERMEDIATE ADVISORY NUMBER 10A
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL EP112006
500 PM PDT WED AUG 30 2006

...DANGEROUS HURRICANE JOHN CONTINUES TO PARALLEL THE SOUTHWEST COAST OF MEXICO...STRONG RAINBANDS APPROACHING MANZANILLO...

A HURRICANE WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM LAZARO CARDENAS WESTWARD TO CABO CORRIENTES. A HURRICANE WARNING MEANS THAT HURRICANE CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED WITHIN THE WARNING AREA WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HOURS. PREPARATIONS TO PROTECT LIFE AND PROPERTY SHOULD BE RUSHED TO COMPLETION.

Exactly what they did to incur my wrath I do not rightly know. Probably nothing. I spent a few hours in Tijuana once. Nothing happened to make me hate the place that I can remember. I don't harbor a particular dislike for Mexicans -- or anyone of Hispanic origin for that matter -- because I believe that there are enough perfectly good reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Of the handful of TV channels I get since I have been too lazy and too cheap to order cable, two of them are Spanish language. Heck, Mexicans built my new home.

Yet I must destroy a bunch of theirs. That's the thing about us hurricanes. For all our destructive power -- and, believe me, you have not had fun until you have blown someone's house over -- we have no free will. We go wherever the wind takes us, able only to flail about in furious circles.

Please forgive me, as David Gray once sang, for I know not what I do.