Resolve

We're ticking down the final moments of 2006 and I'm taking time out of my New Year's Eve revelry to report to you. Don't worry -- the Bears-Packers game has little intrigue. You're not keeping me from anything important.

I know this is the time when people, loosened by libations, safely make promises they likely won't remember tomorrow morning anyway. Why the simple act of turning a calendar's page is supposed to turn our lives around, I have no idea. I don't usually go for the whole "New Year's Resolutions" thing.

If asked, I usually tell people that I resolve to quit smoking. I actually used that one on television once when someone thought they would engage in that witty TV anchor banter by asking me what my resolution was. He stared at me for a second, made the realization and finally said, "But you don't smoke."

"No," I told him. "But I'd thought I'd start with an easy one and go from there."

Not this year: I have decided that after a December of overindulgence, next month will be "No Junk January." I like my sweets and I'm going to miss them. But this must be done. I knew that when a colleague at work brought in a tray of holiday cookies and I munched one after another all day. And I'm going out in a blaze of sugar and fat filled glory. So far today I've had two Pop Tarts, one-and-a-half biscuits, a doughnut, a Tasty-Kake cupcake and a heaping bowl of chocolate fudge brownie Edy's ice cream topped with a bag of M&Ms. And it's not even 9 p.m.

I did this once before. In 1993 or 94. I can't remember which year. I do remember that by mid-month, cookies, cakes and ice cream were appearing in my dreams. It was weird. I also remember that I made it, even though my birthday happens in January. I made a cake Febuary 1.

Last year, I decided that I would work out every day in January. I did that too. Once I didn't start the workout until 11:50 p.m. and it didn't last long but it counted. I'm going to try the workout-a-day thing again, too. That's not a huge challenge since I work out 5-7 times most weeks anyway.

There's no particular urgency to get fitter. I'm in good shape now but that upcoming birthday will be my 41st. This might be my last shot at getting a genuine beach body before I go over the hill.