I Think This is Real

I came across something (thanks, Ike) that looks like it's straight out of The Onion: This story about the latest industry to seek a federal bailout.

First there were the banks, then the auto makers and now another backbone of the American economy says it needs a hand -- well oiled, I presume -- from Uncle Sam.

Pornographers.

Did I say "backbone" of the economy? I meant...

Hey, if TMZ.com reports it, it must be true. TMZ even got Joe Francis, the guy behind the "Girls Gone Wild" videos, on camera vowing to go to Washington to plead his case in person.

Francis and fellow paragon of virtue Larry Flynt, the paraplegic publisher of Hustler magazine, want five billion dollars of federal tax dollars.

(Magazines, in case you're under 30 years old, are where you had to get your porn before you could download it free from the Internet.)

"Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses," Flynt tells TMZ. "We feel we deserve the same consideration."

Porn DVD sales fell a GM/Ford/Chrysler-like 22% last year. Like the car makers, porn producers face, ah, stiff competition from cheaper and better made Asian imports and struggle under onerous labor costs. Coincidentally, union workers in both the auto and adult film industries make 75 bucks an hour to oil a crankshaft. Farvegnugen!

(DVDs, in case you're under 25 years old, are how you had to watch porn videos before you could download them free from the Internet.)

I wish Mr. Flynt and Mr. Francis luck. We can't have thousands of people accustomed to having sex for a living out walking the streets.