Thursday, January 29, 2009

This Could Explain Something

I read a novel recently called "Big Stone Gap." Its protagonist, Ave Maria Mulligan, has read a book about Chinese face reading and studies people's faces hoping to divine their mental makeup from their facial traits.

I thought that if I read my father's face, I would be able to understand why he was so mean. It took a lot of study. Dad's face was square and full of angles: rectangular forehead, sharp jaw, pointy chin. He had small eyes (sign of a deceptive nature), a bulbous nose (sign of money in midlife, which had from owning the Pharmacy), and no lips. Okay, he had two lips, but the set of the mouth was one tight gray lead-pencil line. That is a sign of cruelty. When you watch the news on television, look at the anchor's mouth. I will guaran-damn-tee you that none of them have upper lips. You don't get on the TV by being nice to people.

My lips won't get me mistaken for Angelina Jolie's twin brother but, if the above is true, they are not nearly thin enough for me to succeed in my chosen field.

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