Thursday, April 10, 2008

Solicitation Tees Me Off (a.k.a. I Had Too Much Time on My Hands)

(sent to


I live in the (our development's name) community near your franchise on Causeway Boulevard in Brandon, Florida. When I went to get my mail this evening, I found guest passes from Planet Beach Scotch-taped to almost every mailbox in our mail kiosk.

Solicitation is not permitted in our development. Don't worry, though. As you can see in the attached photo, I collected all but a handful of them and disposed of them before they littered our community.

I am sure that it took your associate "RS" even more time to tape the cards in place than it did for me to take them down. I would prefer not to have to do it again; but I will. Please save us both the effort -- not to mention the costs of printing your snazzy cards -- and skip our community next time you send someone out to canvass neighborhoods.

Your help in this matter is appreciated.



John McQuiston Photograph


turdpolisher said...

Sweet! Let us know if it works.

Ike said...

You ought to hyperlink to the Planet Beach website, using some really obnoxious anchor text, like sleazy marketers. We know what happened to Chris' Plumbing... ;)

John said...

I got a reply from someone in the Planet Beach Corporate Office. It reads:

Thank you for contacting the corporate office of Planet Beach. I do apologize for any inconvenience this has caused to you or your neighbors. I will certainly pass your feedback along to the local owners of the Planet Beach in your area.

Jim H. said...

Atta boy Johnny! I'm curious as to what type of establishment this is?

I've been having some fun with the telemarketers lately. I tell them what a nice voice they have, and, depending on how evil I'm feeling, proceed from there with some ad lib in my Bubba voice.

It works every time!

John said...

"Planet Beach Contempo Spa" is the full name. It's a chain of stores that offer tanning and spa services like facials and massages.

They're probably not diabolical people. I just don't want them littering my neighborhood. You know that's what would have become of most of those cards had I not collected them.

Ah, yes. Telemarketers. Caller ID has eliminated them from my daily existence.